Good-byes and New Beginnings

This week has been an incredibly hard and sad week. It's hard to put in to words all the different feelings and emotions I've had. As I mentioned in my last blog, my Aunt Bec Bec passed away last Sunday. She was a wonderful woman, who spent her last day leaving her wonderful legacy of serving her family, canning veggies for them to have for the next year. And that was her, giving everything she had, living a life of sacrifice. I mentioned in my last blog she was the Navy wife I strive to be, and if I am half as good a wife and devoted mother as she was, I will feel accomplished and hope I can make her proud.

This week we said good-bye to her. I packed up the boys early Wednesday morning to start the 7 hour (with no stops) turn 9ish hours drive to Greenville, SC. Isaac had to work, so it was just me and the boys. Let me tell ya, travelling by myself with a 2 year old and 1 year old, that's an adventure. All things considered, they did very well on the trip. We stopped at our favorite rest stop to eat and let Curtis play in the "woods" and hit trees with sticks, one of his favorite pass times. Curtis was my little helper with Judah the whole time. He's the stroller pusher and he knows that's his job. We stopped a few more times and finally reached our hotel around 5:30. The hotel's advertising was pretty deceitful. We thought we were getting a pretty decent suite, with 2 rooms so the boys wouldn't have to sleep in the same room. That wasn't the case. The room itself wasn't horrible, other than the fact that it wasn't a suite. We were on the 3rd floor with no elevator which made for unloading and loading the car interesting. I was saved the whole time by my parents, though, who were wonderful. Dad helped unload the car. They both helped with the boys. Curtis loves his time with Papa and Yaya and rode with them the whole time. They would keep him in their room so I could put Judah to sleep and then bring him over. They helped with meal times and kept them entertained for me. I couldn't have done the trip without them and am so thankful for all they did. We went to see Uncle Chuck that night and got to spend time with him the next night at Cracker Barrel. Curtis even learned how to say Uncle Chuck and was excited when we'd see him. 

Aunt Bec Bec didn't want a service. I don't think she wanted anyone to be sad, because she knew she would be in Heaven. So there was a meal, friends and family gathered and talked for a few hours, sharing memories and getting re-acquainted. It was nice to see my cousin Becca, I don't think I'd seen her since she was in high school. I got to meet the nurses from Aunt Bec Bec's infusion center, which was nice, people who'd worked so closely with her for such a long time. It was good to be with family and to celebrate her life. My only wish is that my boys would have gotten a chance to really get to know her, but I pray they will one day get to see her in Heaven.

The trip back was easier, and ended on a good note after all the sadness. God knew I just needed some time catching up with my best friends. We stopped in Charlotte to break up the trip and had lunch with my friend Becky and her boys. I hadn't seen Becky since Curtis' baby shower so our catching up was long overdue. But like it always is with good friends, it felt like we hadn't skipped a beat. I'm so thankful for my time with her and thankful for the break for my boys, b/c they slept almost all the way to Raleigh where we stayed the night with Jess. Again, so thankful for this break from driving and a night to catch up, kid free, with my best friend. Sometimes, I think God had Jess move to Raleigh just because he knew I would need a friend who loved closer than 6 hours away. Jess is a friend that I never have to be formal with, I never have to be put together. She's seen me at my worst and best and loves me anyway. It's always such a joy to spend time with her.

This morning, we packed up and finally headed home. Curtis didn't nap at all. Judah slept most of the way. It stormed the last half of the drive, but we made it and are now home and am looking forward to spending the night with my husband in our own bed.

The title talks about new beginnings. I think the timing of my new beginning is perfect.

Most of my friends know I have volunteered at my local Crisis Pregnancy Center for 4 years now. I went through ultrasound training 2 years ago, in the hopes of eventually bringing me on staff. The plan was to do it after my maternity leave with Judah, but Judah just wasn't going to have it so it obviously wasn't God's timing. Well, the time has finally arrived. I officially start as a Nurse Manager at the Keim Center this week!!! It's been a long time coming and as my boss hashtagged to me in a text this week #thelordstiming. I am so excited to step up and fight for life. Yes, I've been doing it for 4 years, but it will be different in this new role and much more involved. If you think about it over the next few weeks, pray for me. Satan loves to try and stop God's work and I've already seen it with several challenges meant to discourage me from this position, but to me, that just means I am right where I'm suppose to be. Pray God will help me settle in to this new role. Pray as he brings me very challenging patients. Pray I will be bold when counselling these women though such difficult circumstances. Pray I would have no fear of man in what I'm doing. And pray for the women who are so struggling that they come to us for answers, that we would help them not only see that they can do this, but point them to Jesus in the process because that is what it is all about.

The reason the timing for this is so perfect, Aunt Bec Bec loved the work I did at the CPC. She asked about it all the time. She always donated to our walks and when I'd ask for extra donations from family during the year. She and "Granny Carolyn" crocheted hats to donate. She loved babies and loved life. She would have loved that I'm starting this new job.

Here's few pictures from our trip:

So incredibly excited!!

 Curtis loves his Yaya, cuddling with her watching Dinosaur Trains

 Judah was so exhausted and didn't want to wake up from his nap

 Curtis is calling Papa (I had to unplug the phone)

 I'm not much for selfies, but when I see this pretty lady for the first time in 3 years, I think that is a perfect excuse for one

 Watching Peppa Pig with Papa

My early riser, playing on the porch so we didn't wake anyone else up

 Everything is considered food

 Future best friends

 At our first stop, getting some time not being in the car

The Coolest Aunt Ever

I received one of the saddest calls of my life today. My mom called to tell me my Aunt Bec Bec died in her sleep this morning. 

It's hard to find words for how I feel, for how incredibly sad I am. Aunt Bec Bec was the best aunt I could have ever wanted, the epitome of the fun, cool aunt. She was the first in my family to know about my tattoo when I was 18, and actually kept the secret(which she wasn't know for doing). She was so excited when I told her about Isaac, since she also married a sailor. She was the Navy wife I looked up to, standing by Uncle Chuck through deployments, moves, 3 kids in the first few years of marriage. She understand what it was like to get married and say good-bye. She understood what it meant to shoulder a lot of the parenting on your own. She understood the struggles and always tried to encourage me when it was hard. She was my first visitor when I moved here shortly after Isaac and I married. She loved my boys like they were her own grand kids. When my best friend, Brenna's daughter was born at 25 weeks, she prayed for her, asked about her, and sent her little premie tobogans to wear when she came home. She loved my dogs almost as much as my boys, and sent them gifts right along with the boys gifts for Christmas and other holidays.  

My heart is so sad that the boys will not grow up knowing their Aunt Bec Bec, and any subsequent kids won't get to meet her. My heart is sad that Isaac wont' get a chance to get to know her better, as he was deployed or had to work during many visits. My heart is sad that I won't get to know her better. Every visit was marked with laughter, almost to tears. 

The last time I saw her was almost a year ago, I think. Judah was just a few months old and loved getting to meet his Aunt Bec Bec. He actually went to her and allowed her to hold him, which doesn't happen very often. The visit was short, but so nice to see her and spend a few hours catching up. She was planning on coming here with Uncle Chuck in November. We always looked forward to those visits. 

Aunt Bec Bec, I love you and miss you so much.