36 Weeks

This week, I made it to the 36 week mark. I have officially been pregnant a week more than I was with Curtis and my body feels every bit of it. I talked to my midwife this week, concerned that I was growing another giant baby as I feel like Judah is much bigger and she assured me that it's just because I've never been this pregnant, but Judah is just fine. I have just a few more days to go till I am full term, 37 weeks. That has been my goal for the last few weeks. It was originally 35 weeks, but thankfully, God brought us through that.

We are looking so forward to meeting this baby. And I'll be honest, I am looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. I love my kids, and we plan on having more after this, but being pregnant with an 18 month old running around who doesn't understand that every time he crawls up on me and pushes on my belly, he's hurting me, or can't understand that when he tries to sit in my lap, but can't cuddle up to me because my belly is in the way, he gets upset. And when our child gets upset, he is really upset. He's a child that has to feel what he's feeling if that makes sense. He doesn't usually want to be comforted, he'd prefer to scream on the floor for a few minutes before being picked up or distracted with something else. That's something I've learned about him in the last few weeks, although it could be that he realizes he can't cuddle up to me easily, I don't know. But, needless to say, I am looking forward to being able to comfortably hold both my boys, comfortably cuddle with both my boys and be able to chase Curtis around and play with him again.

There are several things God is teaching me, though, with being pregnant and having a toddler. The biggest one is that I don't have to be Super Mom. Yes, there are things I prefer doing, ways I prefer doing things as a mom, but I've learned that sometimes, I have to give up my preferences out of necessity and my sanity. I've learned that it's ok to spend an afternoon watching Curious George, especially if I didn't sleep the night before, because by that time, I literally can't function to chase him from room to room. I've learned that at this point, it's ok if he eats a banana and peanut butter or apple and peanut butter or PB and J, or PB and crackers (sensing a theme here?) at every meal because at least he's eating something. I've learned that it's ok to let him cry sometimes, especially at nap time when I either feel like I'm going to pass out because I haven't eaten yet, or just can't hold my pregnant bladder anymore and I've learned that once I leave his room, he always gets over it, settles down and goes to sleep. I'm thankful God is showing me these things, helping me feel a little more prepared for when Judah comes and I just won't be able to worry about the same things anymore because life will just be too busy for that.

The other amazing thing God is teaching me is how amazing of a husband I have. I already knew that, but I'm seeing it on a much greater scale than what I once did. Pregnancy, and being much more dependent on someone can do that. Isaac insists, on a daily basis that I take a break, get some rests, take care of myself and of Judah. He knows that with his work schedule, that can almost be impossible some days, but when he's home, he makes every effort he can to help me with that. He entertains Curtis so I can sit and just enjoy. He lets me lay down and rest if I'm in a lot of pain or not feeling well. He understands that after a long day of taking care of Curtis, I need a break, and he takes Curtis upstairs to play so I can cook in peace. He often sacrifices his sleep to put Curtis back to sleep so that I can rest at night. There's so many other countless things he does that I am so thankful for and very grateful that God is using this pregnancy to remind me daily of the blessing he gave me in my husband.

So anyway, that's what's going on for 36weeks. I do have some really cute new pictures of Curtis, but I will put them up later and talk about the fun updates with him then because he is growing and changing so much, but for now, my 36 week belly in one of the 5 shirts that I have to fit me :)

(If I go much longer, that number may go down to 0)

Judah's Maternity Pictures

A few weeks ago, we had a very fun maternity shoot. We had to reschedule it once due to cold, wet, snowy weather and almost had to reschedule it again, but then we decided to just do it at our house, which I hadn't thought about, but it was fun, and I love the pictures we got!

Photo credit: Heather Kneisler

32 weeks

This week, I'm 32 weeks pregnant. When I was this far with Curtis, I just assumed I had another 2 months left. We went on our Babymoon at 32 weeks, not thinking anything could ever be wrong, assuming we still had quite a while of that pregnancy yet. We had no carseat, no stroller, no pack-n-play, no bassinet, his room was not even close to being finished. 

With Judah, things are different. I guess I just expect to be early. I''m hoping for 5 more weeks, in fact Isaac promised me a pedicure if I made it to 37 weeks, especially since by that point, I will not be able to bend over and trim my nails or do my nail polish :) But 3 more weeks would be great. Curtis was born at 35 weeks and 2 days. I had been contracting for at least a week, if not longer, although I didn't know it. There was no pain, just a feeling of being uncomfortable.  With this pregnancy, I'm more aware of things, especially anything possibly abnormal that could potentially indicate early labor. And we are preparing much earlier, just in case. We bought a van so I can fit 2 rear facing car seats, we bought a 2nd car seat, we're in the process of working on Curtis' knew room so Judah can have the nursery, although I know he'll sleep in our room for a few months. Thankfully, we have most of everything else we need, so we don't have to worry about sending someone on Judah's birthday to go buy everything for us. Next week, I'll pack a bag for myself and for Curtis so I won't have to think about that once the time comes to panic a little and I have several contingency plans in place just in case Isaac isn't here when I go in to labor. 

And the biggest thing I think I'm doing to prepare, although I know it will never really be enough, is enjoying as much time with Curtis as I can. I know things will never be the same once Judah comes, and I'm looking forward to that. But a part of me will miss when it was just Curtis and me during the day, so we're going to the park, and going to the play place at the mall and having play dates and reading lots of books, and I'm letting him watch a little more TV cause that means I get to snuggle with him some, which is pretty much the only time we snuggle, because he's just too busy other wise. I am cherishing the last few weeks, or last 2 months, whatever it is God gives me and I am looking so forward to meeting this new little one that's been growing inside me for 32 weeks, that I've felt kick me and hiccup inside me and flip and stretch and do all sorts of things that I'm just not sure what it is going on inside there.

I am definitely looking forward to the adventure of having 2 littles, and somewhat scared, I'll be honest. But I'm praying God will instill a new sense of independence in Curtis so that I can take care of Judah the way I need to. 

Whatever happens, though, I know it will be a fun ride, and I can't wait to watch my 2 boys grow up together and hopefully be best friends.

Curtis loves to stand in the window sill, especially if daddy is coming up the road, then run to the window and wait for him

Sadly, this ball got chewed up by Baxter, but it was one of Curtis' favorite

Eventually they'll be best friends

Curtis fed himself all his yogurt for the first time, all by himself. This was the result.

Curtis playing with his Uncle Keith, learning what a cow says. Now he walks around saying "Moo" all the time

Curtis' First Real Snow Day

Technically, today was not Curtis' first snow day. He had a few as a newborn, but he was so small, we didn't take him out at all and it did snow in Colorado where we got to take him out, but today was the first time he got to play in the snow. I wasn't sure how he would do because he woke up from his way too short nap screaming and then screamed for the next half hour so I figured I'd just get to take him out for a few minutes. But once we got out and he sat in the snow for a few minutes, he was ready to crawl and play around. He crawled to the little hill in our yard and since it was icy, he slid right down it and then proceeded to crawl right across the street. He had so much fun! Then our neighbor brought her sled out, put Curtis on it and pulled him around for a little while, and he just loved that as well!

26 Weeks and Some Curtis Pictures

I'm 26 weeks pregnant, almost to my 3rd trimester. I'm pretty excited about this because I am looking forward to meeting this new Little One. Judah has begun to kick and move, much like Curtis did. Last week was the first time I could look down at my stomach and see all the movement, like he was trying to get out. I know eventually it will get uncomfortable, but usually it's pretty entertaining to me. 

For the most part, pregnancy is going well, not really any changes. I'm still feeling pretty good, although I am starting to feel that 3rd trimester loss of energy and am having to really discipline myself not to drink too much coffee to wake up some. It is getting harder to move around, especially with taking care of a very active toddler. Luckily, Curtis has learned to walk in the last few weeks. He's becoming a champ at it, which I love because it means I'm not carrying him quite as much. He almost always does the stairs since a few weeks ago, I carried him up and then was in pain for the next hour or so. At church, he holds my hand and walks from the car to the stairs and then takes forever climbing them, but I think he thinks its a fun adventure. He is also doing well at playing by himself, and playing some in his pack and play or crib, which is awesome because it gives me just a little break when I need to sit and catch my breath, or shut my eyes for a minute or just need to stop moving for a minute. All these things have been such evidences of God's grace. I remember when I first found out I was pregnant and was really wondering how in the world I would ever be able to chase Curtis around and be huge in my last trimester, but God is showing me I should never have been worried, He's taking care of it, which I am so thankful for.

Curtis is just growing up so much and it's been really fun to see these past few weeks. Like I said, he is walking, which I love, although he's pretty fast and can get in to things much quicker now. He enjoys playing with Baxter now that he can be more on Baxter's level standing up. He climbs on to everything he can. Pretty soon, we're gonna have to make sure nothing is on the kitchen table or the counters because I know it won't be long before he's tall enough to climb onto a chair and then on the table or counters. He's eating more, enjoying more and different foods, although I guess like a normal toddler, what he likes one day, he very well may not eat it the next day. So meal time can be very frustrating and challenging, but I'm learning that if he's hungry he'll eat, but I'm not going to force him to eat, and for the most part, I'm not going to fix him anything special, unless he just eats absolutely nothing, then he may get yogurt.

The other big change lately with us is Isaac's work schedule. He began shift work last month, rotating 1st, 2nd and 3rd shift every week with a day or 2 off in between to change his body to the next time. It has been a huge challenge, getting adjusted to this new schedule. Most of the time he's working or sleeping while we are awake and up while we are asleep which was not been easy for Curtis and I but we are learning to enjoying every minute we can with him while he's up and with us. And Isaac has been wonderful to take Curtis on outings with him, or just upstairs to play so I can get a break or do some housework without Curtis down here. I have been very thankful for those times. I'm also very thankful that, for the most part, Curtis still goes to bed pretty early, so Isaac and I get some time together at night. It has been a challenge, but God is showing me to be thankful for little things, to praise Him even when life is hard and to cherish every minute he gives us with Isaac.

Here's a few pictures from the last month.

We had tissue paper from a gift of something that we forgot to throw away. This is what Curtis decided to do with it one morning

Curtis just loves his hand-me-down farm from his cousins Taylor and Reegan. He plays with him every day.

He also loves his blanket that Aunt Melissa made him.

This is very typical. He likes to put the blanket on his head, or behind his head like a cape and walk around

Ruhl's Maternity Pictures

This sweet little family is about to add one more, a little boy, who I cannot wait to meet! I've had the privileged of celebrating in this pregnancy with doing the first 2 ultrasounds, now maternity pictures, and in a few weeks celebrating the Little Man at Debbie's baby shower. I am so incredibly excited for them, and know they will make the very best parents!

Roe v. Wade's Anniversary and Some Thoughts...

Tomorrow is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. To most people in our country, January 22nd is just another day. It means absolutely nothing and they will go about their normal lives. To some liberal feminist or liberal feminist supporters, it is a day to be celebrated, a day when women became completely liberated from any consequence of sex and they could finally become one step closer to being "equal" to men. To some moderate conservatives, they may read a news article about the day, think how horrible it is but not really care and go about their day like they normally would. 

To me, and several other fighters for life, this is a day to mourn, a day to pray, and a day to look forward to one day living in a country where Human LIFE is important and valued and where the legal murder of babies is abolished. Sadly, I will not be joining the thousands of people of all ages, races and gender to support LIFE tomorrow at the March for Life rally in DC, but in spirit, I will be there. I will be praying that the media (other than FOX news) will cover the event. I will be praying for the hearts and minds of our congressmen and women, our judicial system and our White House to change. I will be praying for the hearts and minds of people all over our country to change, to become less callous, to see the evil holocaust which is abortion and want it to end.

Most people who probably read this know what I do, but just in case, a little back ground. I volunteer in a pro-life ministry. I am at the Crisis Pregnancy Center every week, working with the women of our city. Now, if you are of the liberal persuasion and see the term CPC, please don't automatically jump to the conclusions that Planned Parenthood would sell you. Yes, there are some horrible CPCs out there. They give misinformation. They do ultrasounds that should not be done. They do try all they can, through "pro-life propaganda" to convince a woman to carry her baby to term. I know they exist because I've seen the awful videos just like ya'll have. But let me tell you, most CPCs are nothing like this. Most of us exist because we love the women of our city and want the best for them. We love their babies and want them to live. We exist to do everything we can to give them a chance and show them that they are loved, whether they feel that way or not and to empower them to make the best choice they can for themselves and their baby. I go to the clinic and see the hurting women of our city who buy into lie after lie told to them by their boyfriends, their families, their schools, Planned Parenthood and other women's clinics. They believe their's no way they can have a baby and a career, no way to have a baby and get an education, no way to have a baby and maintain a good relationship with the father of the baby, their parents, their friends, no way to have a baby and have any quality of life after that. They buy those lies because it's what is constantly sold to them, that they can "easily" get rid of their problem with one simple procedure or just a few pills. What they don't ever think about is what happens after that. In the past few weeks I've had several patients who've had to go through counselling because of previous abortions. How is it a good thing, to tell women to get this procedure, their lives will be easier, and then they need professional counselling afterwards just to get through the day?

At our center, we love these women. We show them there is another way. I challenge every women who comes in to look past her fear, to look past her situation and to think long term. We do ultrasounds and show women the beautiful life inside of them to help them make the most informed decision possible. We do abortion education so if a woman does make the decision to have an abortion, she knows what she's getting into. We give factual medical information so that she knows what the procedure is, what the risks are and what her potential risks could be in the future. I don't try and brainwash my patients, I don't ever shame them for the situation they are in, but I do try and show them that there is another solution besides abortion. And then, no matter what decision she makes, we are there for her. We call and check on her. If she chooses to carry, we offer classes and give baby supplies. We can help find jobs and make sure she gets medical care. If she chooses to abort, we are still their for her. We still see her the next time she comes in pregnant. We still love on her and don't judge her decision.

I love what I do, it truly is a dream nursing job for me. It is heartbreaking a lot of the time, frustrating, and angering when I see so many hurting women of our city and sometimes I can't help them. I can't take away their pain, I can't fix things with their relationships, I can't make their life easier. But I can help them make a decision to not put themselves through a trauma they will potentially regret. That is what I love about the job. It is not easy, it's not always happy, I don't get to look at happy moms and babies all day, but the one woman I may reach every few weeks who chooses to carry her baby even through her difficult life circumstances, that is what makes going in worth it.

Now back to Roe v. Wade. That landmark decision is why I do what I do. Over 50 million babies are dead because of this decision in the US alone. 50 MILLION babies. Think about that. Just really. Stop and think. That number is a heart wrenching number to imagine. That is 50 million mothers and fathers who do not have those children. Many who remember the day every single year and mourn, many who are depressed, choose drugs, alcohol or some other thing of this world to cope and may not even realize what the reason is. Yes, people say if it weren't legal it would happen anyway in some back alley with a coat hanger. I don't know if that would be the case but I do know that it would not have been 50 million if it were illegal. 

When will our country wake up and realize what it's done? When will we see the holocaust that we have legally brought and often celebrated. When will women see this is not healthcare, this is not for their benefit, this is not for their equality. There is nothing, NOTHING, good that has come from the legalization of abortion. And my heart breaks knowing that without God in this country, without His Holy Spirit speaking to the men and women of this country, it will continue because their is no moral compass to stop it. 

But I am thankful for the few who are loud and who are willing make noise about this issue. I am thankful for the March tomorrow and pray that people will take notice. I am thankful for every woman who comes to our clinic and her heart is softened and changed to carry the LIFE inside of her. And I am thankful for the women I fight along with every week, in the hopes that one day, things in our part of this world will change.